I have been a work-at-home mom for more than two years now and for most moms, this is the ideal job. Being in the same place as your child while working; check him out every now and then; hug and kiss him during break time. Heaven, isn’t it? But that was only in the beginning. Things got busier and busier eventually. I work from 12:00noon to 11:00pm. I get at least 5-min break in-between classes. Sometimes, I get a 20-min break and if I’m lucky, some students would be absent and I’d be free for a while. By the way, I do ESL online teaching. It’s not the kind of online job where you don’t have to be on webcam and talk to the students non-stop. I had to sit up straight and be cheerful all the time even when I'm very tired already. It requires a quiet workplace and a clear background. Hence, my little Yohan can’t go inside my room. I had to sneak out from him a few minutes before the online class starts and lock the door just in case he follows me. Not easy.
But there was one incident that really broke my heart. I was escaping from him and he followed me and climbed up the stairs and tried to get into my locked room. The class was starting already so I had no choice but to wait for fifteen minutes for it to be over. I’d mute the mic once in a while to talk to Yohan and ask him not to stand up and just sit on the floor because my door was next to the stairs. I was scared he’d fall. He’s just 3 years young. Then he'd answer “Mommy, dito lang ako sisilip kita sa butas ng door”. My heart melted and wanted to cry. I’ll receive a complaint and risk losing my job if I leave the computer and go to Yohan. I can’t afford that because I’m the sole provider for this little soul who is totally dependent on me (read: single mom).
Right then and there, I decided to find another source of income that’ll not require me to be on webcam and on mic all the time. Right then and there, I decided I want a workplace where I can have Yohan in front of me drawing or coloring his coloring book or working on his Lego or playing with his toys or doing his homework while I’m doing my work; where I don’t have to ask him to go ‘ssshhhh’ whenever he enters my workplace. So, right then and there, I decided I’m going to sign up to Jomar Hilario’s Online Mentoring Club (done), Online Breakthrough Seminar (done) and VA Manila Seminar (on May 28, I’m only available on weekends). And will attend more seminars that’ll help me solve this emotional ‘why’ of mine.
The above mentioned emotional ‘why’ was basically about TIME; being able to spend a lot of quality time with our loved ones. The other one is, whether we like it or not, MONEY. Not for greed or anything, but I just don’t ever want to see my family in poverty. I don’t ever want to see Yohan not being able to achieve his goals in life because we don’t have this tool called MONEY.
So again, I feel Jomar’s seminars are hitting my needs bull’s eye; TIME and MONEY. Being able to earn for the family without sacrificing the quality time that is rightfully theirs.
I’m afraid this post is going to be long. But there’s another one; HEALTH! Spending an average of 10 hours a day in front of the computer has deteriorated my health. I have been doing this for like more than two years now and, you bet, it has taken its toll already. Stress and anxiety, underweight, insomnia, anemia, dizziness and such.
Okay, enough! It feels good being able to let all these out even if nobody reads. I know I’m getting on the right track. I’m on my way to my liberation. I’ll get enough sunshine again (I have not been getting enough of it since I started teaching online). I hope to learn every bit of Jomar’s lessons (and Bro. Bo’s, too!)
